Breaking the Cycles of Mediocrity

I remember growing up as a kid and to my recollection there was no moments of sitting at the dinner table together as a family. We had such a large family, 6 siblings, my mother and father, our dining table simply did not accommodate us. Dinner time was simply spent with all of us in different locations, my father in his room, my mom and sisters in theirs and the brothers in the living room watching tv. This happened every dinner whether it was on a weekend or a weekday. I never thought it to be strange. I know that we have a loving family and I know that we love spending time with each other but there’s a difference between knowing something and having evidence of it. Is it possible, simply because we have never experienced this kind of intimacy before we didn’t know what we were missing? Not only that, my parents had a loveless marriage, my siblings and I saw a roommate situation masquerading as a marriage. Don’t get me wrong they were civil when they spoke and always made sure that the kids were taken care of physically and financially. I’m learning that it takes more than that to produce a successful leader and lover of life.

When I was old enough to start dating I would go to other families homes and I noticed they actually sat to have dinner and had these weird discussions about their day. In my early dating life, I suffered tremendously, not only did I not have the confidence but I lacked the ingredients in order to demonstrate what was really inside of me. And life rewarded me according to the foundation I was given. This is not an attempt to cast blame towards my parents, they simply gave me everything they had. I know this to be true simply because on my journey to wholeness I did some research on the parental style of my grandparents and I realized they simply duplicated what they saw. I thank them for the rich work ethic, the ability to protect and provide and now I simply have to build upon the love and the sensitivity training.

The goal is never to hold grudges against your parents or parental guidance that raise you, always come from a place of gratitude. Some of you may have the feeling of, there is nothing to be grateful for, but I will remind you, feelings aren’t facts. Find a way to give gratitude for those who took care and provided for you when you were unable to and make a promise to yourself to build upon what they gave. Find someone that you trust, do a self inventory, study the people that raise you, what are the challenges that you face from them raising you? Remember you’re not trying to be excellent you only want the truth about the things you struggle with. Is it forgiveness? Lack of patience? The inability to commit? Are you violent? All of these things as bad as they may seem are simply coping mechanisms that you have adopted in order to protect yourself. But I have great news, with the right environment, love and encouragement, life has a way of always introducing you back to your true self. But it only can work if you are truthful, let humility be your best friend. There are some things that I have to change in order for me to be my best, be radical about it. And I promise you as you carefully replace the coping mechanisms with principles and truths about yourself the real you will emerge and people will pay you to be yourself. Use your early domestication to drive you to success, simply saying I don’t want another person to encounter mediocrity.